December 4
For we, who have believed, enter that rest, as he has said . . .
Hebrews 4:3
I was alone when the physician’s letter came - anticipated test results, which now contained a new and unexpected turn of events, and the findings filled me with fear. My dear brother lost a valiant battle to pancreatic cancer and something had been found on mine needing further study. Having been through multiple surgeries while coping with debilitating chronic illness and doing my best to carry on were all taking its toll on me. In addition, I was facing yet another surgery! One more thing was just too much for me to take! I burst into tears and knew that what was needed was to talk this out with someone whose judgment I trust my - my husband. His reassuring ways offer encouragement to everyone in our lives, but he was at work and the other family members or friends whom I would have turned to were not available at this time of day. In frustration, I tossed the rolled up letter across the room and had myself a “pity party.”
Heading to take a shower, the tears began to flow again. “What more do you want me to do, God?” I shouted. “How much more can I take?” I ranted. “Just what do you want of me?” I pleaded. The words came quietly to me at first. “Rest in me.” I heard softly. Still I complained and carried on. “I need to talk with someone about this,” I cried out! “God! What do you want of me to do?” I hollered. “Rest in me!” The firm, clear words I heard within. “Rest in you?” “That is all you ask?” In utter surprise, I responded with a laugh out loud! “Rest in me.” The quiet reply came. It was then I became aware of the sudden feeling of calm that had come over me - the unexpected stillness within me, and instead of needing to rant, a feeling of being at peace took its place. I couldn't help but smile, and I knew that whatever lay ahead, one way or the other, it would be all right.
In fear and loneliness I had poured out my heart to Him and all the while He was right there, calmly communicating; bringing me comfort and hope, all I had to do was pay attention to His call. It was o.k. to have the pity party, but more importantly, it was a blessing to be reminded that in faith, if we allow ourselves to rest in Him, our spirits will be renewed.
God, thank you for the times you clearly call to each of us to simply take a moment and rest in You!
Copyright© 2013 Kathleen A. Matson
For we, who have believed, enter that rest, as he has said . . .
Hebrews 4:3
I was alone when the physician’s letter came - anticipated test results, which now contained a new and unexpected turn of events, and the findings filled me with fear. My dear brother lost a valiant battle to pancreatic cancer and something had been found on mine needing further study. Having been through multiple surgeries while coping with debilitating chronic illness and doing my best to carry on were all taking its toll on me. In addition, I was facing yet another surgery! One more thing was just too much for me to take! I burst into tears and knew that what was needed was to talk this out with someone whose judgment I trust my - my husband. His reassuring ways offer encouragement to everyone in our lives, but he was at work and the other family members or friends whom I would have turned to were not available at this time of day. In frustration, I tossed the rolled up letter across the room and had myself a “pity party.”
Heading to take a shower, the tears began to flow again. “What more do you want me to do, God?” I shouted. “How much more can I take?” I ranted. “Just what do you want of me?” I pleaded. The words came quietly to me at first. “Rest in me.” I heard softly. Still I complained and carried on. “I need to talk with someone about this,” I cried out! “God! What do you want of me to do?” I hollered. “Rest in me!” The firm, clear words I heard within. “Rest in you?” “That is all you ask?” In utter surprise, I responded with a laugh out loud! “Rest in me.” The quiet reply came. It was then I became aware of the sudden feeling of calm that had come over me - the unexpected stillness within me, and instead of needing to rant, a feeling of being at peace took its place. I couldn't help but smile, and I knew that whatever lay ahead, one way or the other, it would be all right.
In fear and loneliness I had poured out my heart to Him and all the while He was right there, calmly communicating; bringing me comfort and hope, all I had to do was pay attention to His call. It was o.k. to have the pity party, but more importantly, it was a blessing to be reminded that in faith, if we allow ourselves to rest in Him, our spirits will be renewed.
God, thank you for the times you clearly call to each of us to simply take a moment and rest in You!
Copyright© 2013 Kathleen A. Matson